In modern society, talking about death is considered insensitive, inconsiderate, and unsympathetic to others' feelings. Thus, reflecting on ourselves with similar negative values: nihilistic, pessimistic, morbid, etc. You won't be seen as someone that could be fun and enjoy life if you care about this topic. Whether it is right or not to make that correlation (intentions vs actions) is a topic to discuss in future blogs. I am writing this piece to shine a light upon a missed opportunity of intentionally turning a blind eye to the topic of death. Instead of painting someone that is frequently reminded about death as hopeless and depressing, these next few paragraphs shall convince you that they could be otherwise -- hopeful and appreciative!
"Death is not the opposite of life but a part of it. Life and death are intertwined threads, and embracing the reality of death allows us to truly appreciate and savor the beauty of life."
This topic was brought into my thoughts after I listened to last Friday's sermon. "Kematian yang pasti", or "Inevitable death" in English. The concept of death, or impermanence, is surprisingly one of the very few matters regarding metaphysics in which different philosophies and religions land a similar conclusion: death brings life meaning.
The Existentialist's view on death is quite similar to other beliefs. Life is meaningful because it is impermanent. A simple but relevant concept is the Law of Scarcity; the value of something diminishes when its existence is infinite. If everyone has an angelic voice, then your angelic voice is not special and therefore is not valuable. If everyone has infinite money, then anyone's money won't buy them anything. Similarly, if everyone has infinite time to live, then your life, and everyone's life has no meaning. Thus, if we were brought upon others' death, or an end to anything, we should be sanguine about the loss, as the loss brings meaning to its existence.
sanguine
/ˈsæŋ.ɡwɪn/
optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation.Thinking about death
"The one who remembers death the most and is best in preparing for it. Those are the wisest."
- Sunan Ibn Majah 4259
(Grade: Hasan)
The above quote was said by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) when he was asked "Which of them (the believers) is the wisest?". And these words of wisdom not only transcend the Islamic creed but are even concurred by numerous empirical scientific studies. One of which is my favorite: the Terror Management Theory (TMT).
The TMT suggests that the awareness of one's mortality can enhance the importance of cultural worldviews and values, which often include moral and ethical principles. When we are reminded of our own mortality, we may feel compelled to seek meaning and significance in life, leading us to prioritize moral conduct and uphold societal norms.
- ScienceDaily
The more we are aware of the impermanence of life, the more likely it is for us to do good and meaningful deeds.
However, I do think that there is a big asterisk that allows this conclusion to be true...
Doing actions out of gratitude > out of fear
We could easily argue that one could exploit the awareness of mortality in a way that they only do actions that brings them the highest utility and joy rather than actions that are morally good. For instance, a CEO might accept briberies even if he is reminded about death to fully experience the pleasure of wealth while he is still alive. This action is inarguably materialized because of his fear of death. The CEO is afraid that he won't live long enough to enjoy a luxurious life. He lined up his action because of fear of death.
But what if we see death in a different way? Instead of fearing that our life will end, what if we become grateful that our life has not ended?
If we are grateful for life, we will realize that we have been blessed with wealth, joy, and health. Hence, we will tend to help those that might not have the same privilege. Conversely, if our mindset is to fear the fact that our life is going to end, we will be self-centered and envy other people's blessings, to the point that we overlooked our very own blessings.
It is not rocket science.
According to the concept of "hedonic treadmill", we humans tend to take things for granted. Things that used to make us happy like our lovely spouses (wish one for me plss) may cease to bring us joy over time as it has become the new "normal". It is like a beautiful orchid plant dangling on the roof of your balcony, preceding the magnificent view of the sunset. After a few weeks, you will forget about its presence -- how it used to bring you serenity. It is there, but it does not bring you joy anymore. But if you start to be aware of it and appreciate its details once again, you will surely be awed just like the first time you did.
So, by simply recognizing our privilege and blessings, we will make the things that no longer make us happy -- to make us happy again. But who am I to make such an active claim.
Let me briefly explain the groundbreaking findings by Dr. Robert Emmons regarding gratitude.
A group of students was asked to journal, or at least, list five things that they are grateful for daily. (Grateful group)
As shown below, the Gratitude group reported significantly higher ratings on their happiness in life as a whole, prospective well-being in the upcoming week, and their feeling of connection with others. The numbers don't lie, they speak for themselves.
Unsurprisingly, in another similar study conducted by the same research team, the grateful group is also more likely to help others.
Death & Gratitude | The deadly combo (literally)
"In the awareness of death's embrace, we find the wisdom to embrace life with gratitude. For it is in the fleeting nature of existence that we discover the true value of every breath, every heartbeat, and every precious moment. Let us cherish the fragility of life, for it is the reminder that each day is a gift, and gratitude is the key that unlocks the beauty within every passing moment."
To be honest with you, I did not write any of that quote. Though, I did write the prompt for ChatGPT to write it though, if that counts as being a co-author.
Quite clearly that there is a specific way for us to be better people by being aware of the impermanence of life (mortality salience). To be aware is also to react to that awareness. And this is the game-changer. We must react to the knowledge of mortality by being grateful for the time that we still have. For that, we will do more good deeds, be content with life, and also make others more content with their life!
So, go and hop on with your life appreciating every morning breakfast with your family while thinking about death!!
end.
'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]
- Ibrahim 7
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